Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
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I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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