i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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