Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
