He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Randomize