I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
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this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
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