This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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