i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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