I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
There's always time for handjobs
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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