Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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