Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
