remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
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