I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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