chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
