you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
4 words: hood of his car
They should really pass out barf bags in church
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
