If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
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