is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
