I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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