tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
