i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Michael Bay diarrhea
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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