he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
3pm strippers are depressing
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
