I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
