Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Randomize
