I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
