he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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