where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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