these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Green mimosas i think yes
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Randomize