Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
