You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Randomize
