So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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