when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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