He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
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