last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I look better un-naked...
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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