Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
