This girl is more easily done than said...
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
