At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
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I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
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Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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