Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
