We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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