I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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