just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
