it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
