i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My day in three words: secret purse cake
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
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