I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Randomize
