I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
