Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Farmville is her only friend.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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