Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
