"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
