u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
