I'm so fucking centered right now
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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