That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
