Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
