her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
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