I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
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