I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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