So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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