Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
