You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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