Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
he quoted the bible to break up with me
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
