when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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